| You may be pushing your partner out of your life. | | | | misplaced aggression with a back door. The hard |
| Your fears, guilt, doubt, past experiences and | | | | truth here is that if your partner gets tired of it, |
| feelings of unworthiness may drive you to doing | | | | you won't have anyone around to be brutally |
| and saying terrible things to the one you like or | | | | honest with. That's the brutally honest truth. |
| love. Whether you are doing this consciously or | | | | Belief That Upset Equals Love |
| unconsciously, you could be pushing away the | | | | There are those of us that try to make our |
| relationship of a lifetime. | | | | partners upset. We mistakenly believe that if we |
| It's time to stop sabotaging your love relationship. | | | | are worth getting upset about, then our partner |
| You are worthy of relationship happiness. Your | | | | must love us. It's a twisted, self-defeating way of |
| partner is not better or worse than you, as you | | | | validating ourselves through the emotional torture |
| both bring equally important things to the | | | | of another. Why is this method self-defeating? |
| relationship. Here are 6 ways that you are | | | | You almost always takes things too far. When |
| sabotaging your love relationship, and what to do | | | | your partner gets to the point where they want |
| about them. | | | | to leave, that's when you are finally convinced |
| Unreasonableness | | | | that they love you. That's when you realize what |
| Doing the opposite of what your partner wants | | | | you've done, and then blame your partner for not |
| for not good reason is not good. At first, it will | | | | really loving you in the first place. |
| appear to your partner that you just aren't seeing | | | | This is a great way to feel like you are loved, |
| eye to eye. Eventually, it will become clear to | | | | while pushing the one that loves you right out of |
| your partner, and everyone else, that you are | | | | your life. People normally engage in this sort of |
| just disagreeing to be disagreeable. Playing this | | | | behavior when they feel like they are damaged |
| game has the potential of turning your partner off | | | | goods. People who feel like their partner will |
| from you permanently. | | | | eventually see them as they really are and leave |
| Instead, come back to compromise. Whatever | | | | for someone better also engage is this sort of |
| anger you are harboring and for whatever | | | | behavior. A lot of work is needed on one's self |
| reason, ask yourself this: does my partner | | | | esteem to get passed this. A change is required |
| deserve someone that is acting like this? In | | | | at the belief level to understand what love really |
| situations where you are sabotaging your | | | | looks like and how to demonstrate it. Doing things |
| relationship, you'll immediately see that they don't | | | | to purposely push your partner's buttons isn't love |
| deserve this. Stop. Apologize. Then give some | | | | all. |
| thought to what fear or past experience you are | | | | Projecting Your Past Onto Your Future |
| projecting on to your partner. Then come back to | | | | Let's say you've had 3 bad relationships in a row. |
| common sense and compromise in everything | | | | What are your expectations for the next |
| you do together. | | | | relationship? That depends. Do you truly |
| Boredom With Kindness | | | | understand that each person is different? Do you |
| So your partner is cooking for you....again. Your | | | | recognize that you could be selecting the same |
| partner is holding the door open for you...again. | | | | type of partner over and over again? Or, do you |
| Another hug...more kisses...always trying to help | | | | believe that anyone you date will treat you the |
| with something. If this is bothering you, then it's | | | | way your past relationships have? If you believe |
| time to look at yourself. Why is it that a partner | | | | that the past will become your future, you will |
| engaging in loving action bores you or otherwise | | | | sabotage your relationship by looking for clues of |
| annoys you? If this behavior isn't making you | | | | bad things to come. When you do this, you |
| happy, consider the opposite behavior and how | | | | always find what you are looking for. A late night |
| that would make you feel. By choosing not to be | | | | at work becomes an opportunity to cheat in your |
| happy with the good things, you are conditioning | | | | mind. Dinner with friends becomes a cover story |
| yourself to find someone that has the bad things. | | | | for other bad behavior you plan to engage in. |
| A bad partner always appears to be exciting...at | | | | Someone showing your partner attention or |
| first. Later, you long for the good partner you | | | | attraction stirs the thought in your mind that your |
| once had. | | | | partner is out flirting with others. |
| Rather than being bored with kindness, appreciate | | | | Rather than engaging in this "no win" scenario for |
| it. There are all too many tales of men and | | | | your relationships, realize that your current |
| women in relationships that are full of drama, | | | | partner is unique. Their behavior will be different |
| heartache, and emotional ambiguity. Be thankful | | | | from that of your past relationships. Give them a |
| for the good partner you have. Pushing a partner | | | | chance to love you the way you deserve to be |
| out of your life like this leads to eventual regret | | | | loved. Don't assume failure before you even get |
| when you discover that you lost the best | | | | started. |
| relationship you've ever had. | | | | Ignoring Your Partner / Avoidance |
| Brutal Honesty | | | | Everything needs attention to grow. However, |
| There is nothing wrong with honesty. However, | | | | you're afraid of falling in love with your partner or |
| everything is wrong with brutal honesty. When | | | | otherwise getting too close or attached. You |
| you are being brutally honest, you are basically | | | | decide to put some distance between you and |
| giving yourself license to say something with an | | | | your partner as a way of controlling how far and |
| element of truth in the most cruel, degrading, | | | | how fast the relationship goes. All you are doing |
| insulting and hurtful way possible. When your | | | | though is creating confusion and frustration in your |
| partner gets upset, you clear your conscious by | | | | partner that could lead to relationship doom. |
| saying that you were only being honest. Brutal | | | | If you allow fear to keep you away from your |
| honesty is a cover for tearing your partner down | | | | partner, then you may not be emotionally ready |
| emotionally. It's a way of projecting anger at your | | | | for another relationship yet. You are putting |
| partner disguised as a noble attempt at honesty. | | | | distance between you and your partner in hopes |
| Compassionate honesty is the better way to go. | | | | of protecting yourself from them or from the |
| Its not so much the message you are delivering | | | | emotions that come with love relationships. The |
| that gets your partner upset. Its how that | | | | result can be the loss of a relationship that was |
| message is delivered. Have the compassion and | | | | never going to hurt you in the first place. Don't |
| the patience to be honest with your partner in a | | | | participate in a relationship half way. The |
| loving way. There is no need to tear your partner | | | | commitment requires 100% from each person, or |
| down to make yourself feel better. Directing | | | | it simply will not be healthy and may end. |
| disguised anger at your partner is simply | | | | |