| What is Christmas stress? Physiologically it is the | | | | From a counseling perspective, handling Christmas |
| same stress that we have about any problem | | | | stress is like handling any other stress, change the |
| that we perceive to be greater than our | | | | thought to change the feeling, or change the |
| resources to handle it. | | | | breathing pattern to change the physiology, and |
| The one thing that few of the stress writers talk | | | | what is easy to forget is that one needs to |
| about is how fast that stress response happens, | | | | monitor either their thinking or breathing or both, |
| which is at the speed of perception. | | | | and if the thoughts return to stress thoughts or |
| Dr. Daniel Amen says in his PBS talk that | | | | the breathing becomes shallow, then one must |
| electrons move around in our heads at a speed | | | | switch back to deep breathing or thoughts about |
| of 268 mph, which is fast even without | | | | appreciation to switch out of stress physiology. |
| considering the short distance those electrons | | | | How to Make Christmas Stress Management a |
| have to travel even if going from ear to ear. | | | | Habit. |
| Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi,Ph.D., in his book, FLOW, | | | | The best stress management tool that I know |
| says that we perceive packages of data every 1 | | | | of, based on my experience of the 11th step of |
| 18th second, and Paul Ekman,Ph.D. says that we | | | | AA, is the Heartmath (heart rate variability |
| can respond physiologically to a look of contempt | | | | biofeedback) tool coupled with Open Focus from |
| in as fast as 1/25th second, and an eye blink | | | | Les Fehmi,Ph.D. |
| takes all of 1/18th second, so stress physiology, | | | | The heart rate variability tool allows me to learn |
| whether it is from a thought about Christmas or | | | | an awareness of very subtle changes in the time |
| a wolf at the door step is fast, and it is strong. | | | | between heart beats and to switch into a heart |
| John Gottman,Ph.D. in his home version of his | | | | rate variability coherence. |
| marriage counseling workshop called the Art and | | | | I can literally change my physiology from stress |
| the Science of Love describes the physiology of | | | | to coherence, or relaxed (and vice versa if I |
| stress as Diffuse Physiologic Arousal or DPA, and | | | | want) in a heart beat, and with a bit of practice, I |
| he says that the way to manage it is to take | | | | can learn to keep my body in this coherent state |
| your pulse and if your pulse is over 100 beats per | | | | for longer and longer periods of time, even |
| minute, the next thing to do is give yourself a | | | | though there may be real wolves at my door, or |
| time out. | | | | not enough time in the Christmas season, or not |
| If you are male, the time out needs to last at | | | | enough money to tithe and buy gifts. |
| least 20 minutes, with close attention paid to your | | | | My physiology with stress is adrenalin and cortisol |
| thinking, to eliminate recurring self-righteous or | | | | based, and with heart rate variability biofeedback, |
| 'victim'thoughts, because males go further up the | | | | my physiology is based on DHEA, the anti aging |
| arousal ladder than women do and stay there | | | | hormone. |
| longer. | | | | So Christmas stress is optional once I learn |
| So how can the Christmas season bring about a | | | | Heartmath. |
| physiology or sustain a physiology which is | | | | Just out of curiosity, can you imagine everyone in |
| designed to help us fight off life threatening | | | | your family getting on the same heart beat for |
| danger, and how can we mediate or minimize it. | | | | the season, and if someone gets incoherent |
| I see a lot of writers hearkening back to simpler | | | | (stressed, angry, anxious, disappointed), the rest |
| times, and advising us to remember that the | | | | of the family can invite that person back to |
| focus of the season is on the Birth of Christ, not | | | | coherence? |
| on the Christmas parties, school pageants, or | | | | By the way, the heart rate variability process is |
| need to buy too many gifts and run up your | | | | based on research about the heart's own nervous |
| credit card bills. | | | | system, and its own intelligence, which is an |
| The one trouble with that advice is that it does | | | | affiliative and cooperative intelligence, and |
| not take into account the human orienting | | | | intelligence which offers choice, rather than makes |
| response. We switch our attention depending on | | | | demands, or gives orders. |
| movement in the environment, so I need to pay | | | | So lets bring some heart back to Christmas, and |
| close attention to shifts in my attention, and pull | | | | just renew our loving thoughts as frequently as |
| back to my Christmas stress antidote thinking | | | | we need too. |
| very frequently. | | | | |