| The counselling relationship is the essence of the | | | | some suggestions about directions our future |
| helping process in counseling, and I think it begins, | | | | work could take. |
| at least in the clients mind, before there is ever | | | | You will note that I have not talked about |
| any attempt to set up an appointment. | | | | payment, because most folks who are interested |
| So my first contact with a client will probably be | | | | in continuing will offer information about payment, |
| by phone call, and I need to remember to create | | | | and those who are still shopping will not, and |
| a cordial, and welcoming tone of voice and sustain | | | | sometime one session is all that is needed. |
| it. | | | | Perhaps this one session counselling relationship |
| No day dreaming allowed, no matter how many | | | | was all that was necessary. |
| times I have returned client phone calls and | | | | I like to be very encouraging, because I have |
| scheduled an initial appointment. | | | | seen folks rebuild their lives, come back from the |
| There may be questions and I need to remember | | | | Gates of Hell, so to speak, and I know powerful |
| the ambivalence or even resistance that the client | | | | change can happen. |
| may be experiencing, and respect it, while setting | | | | I know that belief comes through in my |
| an expectation that positive results, which will be | | | | consultations. |
| defined by the client, will flow from our counselling | | | | Of course, as we make our plans then the usual |
| relationship. | | | | intake and confidentiality issues need to be |
| I also usually schedule a free consultation for our | | | | clarified, and another appointment scheduled. |
| first session, and I indicate to my caller that we | | | | So the biggest part of the counselling relationship |
| will talk about the fit between my skills and their | | | | thus far has been my creating a belief about how |
| issues and create some kind of plan for our | | | | I am going to behave which includes paying close |
| continuing work. | | | | attention to my visitor. |
| However, if the client launches into a full scale | | | | Perhaps at the end of our consultation, or at the |
| telling-of-the-story, I need to be prepared to ask | | | | next session, I begin to give the client information |
| that we go into that during our face to face | | | | about "road maps" as my old friend and mentor |
| meeting, rather than over the phone, so | | | | Liz Ann Corbitt called them. |
| boundaries are OK. | | | | I have watched many clients visibly relax when |
| When my client arrives, I like to cheerfully greet | | | | they find out that there is some kind of |
| them, invite them into my office, get them | | | | theoretical explanation for what they are |
| settled with coffee or water, and ask them what | | | | experiencing. Knowing that there is a beginning and |
| has changed since their phone call to me. | | | | an end of counseling at least, is extremely helpful |
| I am setting an expectation that change is already | | | | to a clients confidence about their ability to effect |
| happening and at this point oftentimes my client | | | | change. |
| will tell me the story and chronology of their | | | | And then I can talk about how recent research |
| problem. | | | | into brain function, particularly functional magnetic |
| At this point in the counselling relationship, my job | | | | resonance imagery (fMRI) has impacted our |
| is just to listen. | | | | understanding of human behavior, and we can |
| And listening does have some discreet skills, most | | | | even talk about how recent information about |
| importantly my repeating the clients words to | | | | neurogenesis and neuroplasticity impact the client's |
| myself, and then back to the client at appropriate | | | | situation. |
| moments so that the client knows I am listening, | | | | So there is lots of encouragement involved in my |
| and I can double check that my perceptions are | | | | particular style of counselling relationship. |
| accurate. | | | | I also indicate to clients that books like Brainfit for |
| What I am striving for in the counselling | | | | Life offers a compelling model for a brain fit life, |
| relationship at this moment is for the client to feel | | | | and if you follow that model, almost all counseling |
| safe. | | | | situations are impacted positively, so please check |
| Usually at our time together progresses, I can | | | | it out. |
| see my client begin to relax, and perhaps the | | | | If you are attending to the pillars of brain fitness, |
| energy intensity lessons, and I can move into | | | | you will be making changes in counselling issues. |