| "I don't have any willpower." | | | | attitudes from the messages around us and then |
| "I'm weak." | | | | they influence our behavior. For instance, at one |
| "I'm lazy." | | | | time I used to believe the societal attitude of "I'm |
| "I can't do it." | | | | weak and unmotivated" because I was obese. As |
| Do these statements sound familiar? Too often, | | | | a result, I never set any realistic goals for myself |
| our self-statements about weight management | | | | regarding weight because I knew I would fail |
| interfere with our efforts and lead to failure. By | | | | because I didn't have what it takes. Well, what I |
| changing how we think about developing a healthy | | | | didn't have was a healthy belief system about |
| weight we are able to change the behaviors that | | | | myself and my weight problem. One day, |
| can lead to success. | | | | however, I thought about that statement: "I'm |
| Not long ago I conducted a little experiment with | | | | weak and unmotivated." |
| my cardio-kickboxing class. After an intense class | | | | As I thought about it, I began to realize how |
| I told them to get the heaviest weights they | | | | inaccurate it was. Other evidence in my life clearly |
| could curl 8-10 times. I spent a minute telling them | | | | indicated that I was unmotivated: I obtained a |
| to focus on feeling tired, that they had just | | | | Ph.D., I had conducted and published research, I |
| worked out hard and they couldn't do anymore. | | | | developed and ran a successful business, I was |
| Then, they were to curl the weights to | | | | involved with my son's school and other interests. |
| exhaustion. Once they finished, I spent another | | | | These certainly weren't indicators of an |
| minute telling them to focus on having energy, | | | | unmotivated person. I also realized I wasn't weak: |
| feeling good, feeling refreshed, and knowing they | | | | I had confronted numerous personal stressors in |
| could do more. Once again, they lifted the weights | | | | my life and didn't back away from problems. So, |
| to exhaustion. The results were that out of nine | | | | based on this self-assessment, I changed my |
| people, only one did fewer lifts the second time! | | | | thinking to "I have a problem with weight control." |
| And typically, when someone lifts weights to | | | | This thinking was not so global and overwhelming. |
| exhaustion they should not be able to lift as much | | | | It did not make me feel bad about myself |
| the second time when it is only a minute later. | | | | generally because it was more specific and |
| Although this was not a controlled scientific | | | | confined. Therefore, I was able to think of |
| experiment, it was a demonstration to my class | | | | becoming more healthy in a manageable way |
| to show how powerful our thinking can be. What | | | | rather than being overwhelmed with all the |
| this exercise showed was how positive thinking | | | | negative emotions related to "I'm weak and |
| overcame the natural exhaustion of the body and | | | | unmotivated." |
| created a self-fulfilling prophecy of lifting more | | | | Examine how you label and evaluate yourself by |
| weight because the participants believed that they | | | | listing the thoughts you have about dieting, weight |
| could. | | | | loss, or achieving a healthy weight. Then, ask |
| How does this demonstration apply to achieving a | | | | yourself, "Are these accurate statements?" What |
| healthy weight? Take a moment and write down | | | | evidence can you find from other areas of your |
| or upon all the thoughts that come to mind when | | | | life that show how these statements may be |
| you think about dieting or losing weight. Now note | | | | inaccurate? Then, determine what you can say to |
| how many of those thoughts are negative. | | | | yourself instead that doesn't make you feel as |
| Several typical categories of thinking emerge | | | | bad. Finally, say it! As frequently as you can |
| when people record their thoughts about dieting. | | | | remind yourself of the accurate challenges: "No, |
| These include perfectionistic thinking, negative | | | | I'm not weak and unmotivated, weight loss is a |
| evaluation and labeling, generalization, and focus on | | | | difficult challenge for me." |
| failure. By recognizing and changing these thought | | | | Generalization. Many years ago when I taught a |
| patterns you could be on your way to achieving | | | | smoking cessation class, we explained to the |
| and maintaining a healthy weight. | | | | students "There is no failure as long as you keep |
| Perfectionistic Thinking. One of the most prevalent | | | | trying. The more times you attempt to quit, the |
| thought patterns about weight in our society is an | | | | more likely you will quit." Too often, when people |
| over-emphasis on perfection. We are confronted | | | | think about losing a weight they think, "I've tried |
| repeatedly with the focus on beauty and thinness. | | | | before. It's never worked. It won't work this time. |
| Commercials, television shows, movies all have a | | | | So, why bother trying?" And certainly, it probably |
| preponderance of attractive people seeming to | | | | won't work this time if we continue to generalize |
| indicate such beauty is the norm. For instance, | | | | from past experiences. However, just because |
| watch a TV show set on a beach in Florida and | | | | something hasn't worked in the past, doesn't |
| then go to the beach yourself. Do the people look | | | | mean nothing will ever work. Thomas Edison |
| the same? When I go to the beach I see people | | | | stated when working on his invention of the light |
| of all body types and sizes but on most television | | | | bulb "I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways |
| shows that is not what they show unless it is | | | | that won't work." |
| part of the story line. Especially notice how | | | | If you have found ways that won't work, that |
| beautiful the women are on national television | | | | doesn't mean that you will fail in the future. Try |
| news shows these days; although the news has | | | | something else. Determine why something didn't |
| always emphasized attractiveness of the female | | | | work for you and change it. If your goal was too |
| anchor, it seems that they are now required to | | | | demanding, make it more realistic. If you can't |
| be a model first. So, all around us we are | | | | give up chocolate, how do you fit it into your |
| presented these images as if this is how we | | | | diet? If exercise is boring, how can you be more |
| should look. | | | | active in a fun way? |
| No wonder we develop unrealistic expectations | | | | Focus on Failure. Although this concept is closely |
| about our appearance. The problem with these | | | | related to the perfectionistic thinking and the |
| perfectionistic expectations is that they are likely | | | | negative evaluation and labeling, it deserves a |
| to sabotage any efforts we make towards | | | | comment separately. In particular, people tend to |
| maintaining a healthy weight. When demands are | | | | focus on the outcome rather than on the process |
| difficult or impossible to meet, we tend to take a | | | | which allows a greater focus on failure. For |
| defeatist attitude and quit. "I can't look like that | | | | instance, if you are trying to lose weight, a focus |
| anyway, so why even try?" | | | | on the outcome is based on how much you |
| In addition, perfectionism tends to be all-or-nothing | | | | gained or lost in a particular week. If you gained |
| so that if we evaluate our success according to | | | | or the loss was not enough, you feel like you |
| whether we achieved the perfectionistic goal or | | | | failed. "I wanted to lose a pound, but I only lost a |
| not rather than evaluating success upon | | | | half pound." However, the focus on the process |
| improvement. For instance, I knew a women who | | | | allows you to examine more of what you |
| had successfully lost 85 pounds but because she | | | | achieved: "I have been eating healthier foods this |
| didn't achieve her goal weight by the date she had | | | | week and not over-doing the snacks." This type |
| set for herself she became discouraged and, quit | | | | of thinking is more likely to lead to continued |
| dieting, and put half of the weight back on. Too | | | | effort as opposed to the focus on failure. |
| often, when people want to lose weight they set | | | | Changing Thinking. The key to changing thinking is |
| extreme calorie limits and exercise goals that | | | | to first be aware of your thinking. A useful |
| they are unlikely to meet. As soon as they fail | | | | technique is to write down the thoughts that you |
| one day, they give up. | | | | have regarding your weight and attempts to |
| However, if we can focus on making small | | | | manage it. Then determine what type of thinking |
| improvements that are realistic and manageable | | | | error may be involved: perfectionistic thinking, |
| we are more likely to be successful. Also, we | | | | negative evaluation and labeling, generalization, or |
| need to set goals that are not so concrete. | | | | focus on failure. Once you have determined the |
| Instead of "I will exercise for an hour everyday" | | | | type of thinking, you can then develop an |
| we can state "I will increase my activity level." | | | | evidence list that shows the inaccuracy of the |
| Instead of "I won't eat any sweets" we can set a | | | | thinking. This allows you to develop a rational |
| goal of "I will thoroughly enjoy any treat I eat and | | | | challenge to the thoughts that you can use |
| not eat snacks mindlessly." Instead of "I will | | | | whenever they occur. |
| restrict my calories to 1200 a day" we can decide | | | | By working on challenging your thinking you are |
| to write down whatever we eat so as to be | | | | likely to remove some of the roadblocks that |
| more aware of food intake. | | | | interfere with achieving and maintaining a healthy |
| Negative Evaluation and Labeling. Frequently, | | | | weight. So much of our ability to achieve any goal |
| people tend to overly focus on the negative | | | | starts with how we think of ourselves and our |
| when trying to change a behavior. We learn these | | | | ability to succeed. |